Some days, I reject my usual defined makeup for something more aggressive and slap-dash. These are the days when I reach for the rich browns or deep blacks that hide in the corners of my favorite palettes. On powdered lids or a base of nude shadow, I pack a dark color at the outer lashline, blending outwards and upwards toward my crease. After most of the color on my brush has been deposited, I soften the outer edges of my half circle, and softly draw color inwards, toward the center of my lashline. This creates a wedge of intense color at the outer corner that fades at the edges. After an initial pass, I go back in for another round, intensifying the deepest parts of the shadow, and further softening the faded edges. By this point, the color has crept upward and outward, nearing the tail of my brows, and that’s just how I like it. I take a big fluffy brush and blend the edges again, using a little more nude shadow if I need to soften any harsh lines. Because, you know, I have to wear this makeup for the rest of the day, and I’m expected to look (mostly) sane while I’m teaching a dissection lab.

This look isn’t something I strive for on my most clear-headed days. But, sometimes, when I’ve been feeling wishy-washy and unfocused, it’s just what I need. It’s a look that doesn’t require too much focus or precision, but it makes a statement. It’s a simple statement, though, and one that reaffirms the idea that I don’t have to know exactly what I’m about in order to broadcast myself to the world. I spend a lot of time speculating, analyzing and reflecting—thank you scientific and literary training—but I also enjoy going with the flow. Sometimes it’s great to run with my prevailing mood when I step in front of the mirror in the morning. Not every decision requires prior analysis. There are plenty of times when it’s safe and satisfying to indulge a whim. Occasionally, a change-up on the makeup front is just what the (future veterinary) doctor ordered.